Work & Office jokes

Funny jokes about work or from office, profession jokes, construction jokes, .....

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Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

rating: 3.11 of 67 votessend joke:

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A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed?
The woman replies, "Breast fed."
The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts.
He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk."
Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"

rating: 3.4 of 118 votessend joke:

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There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride. So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest. They start chatting and having a good time. On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street. The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back."You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."

rating: 2.78 of 86 votessend joke:

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Patient comes to the doctor, doctor says:

- So, what concerns you?
- Dr, everyone ignores me!
- Next!

rating: 3.01 of 72 votessend joke:

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A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:

- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...

rating: 2.97 of 74 votessend joke:

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Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him...

- Good, good, good...
- Doctor, what's good?
- Good that I don't have what you have...

rating: 3.25 of 68 votessend joke:

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Two truck drivers trying to drive under a bridge.
Driver, "Oh no, the height of bridge is 2.7m and our truck is 3m."
2nd driver, "it's ok, just go, there is no cops around."

rating: 3.03 of 267 votessend joke:

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Air traffic controller:
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"

rating: 3.24 of 69 votessend joke:

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Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."

rating: 3.13 of 55 votessend joke:

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Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

rating: 3.23 of 170 votessend joke:

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