category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 12-3-2008
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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category: Profession jokes
by: kubo 12-3-2008
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
plant and get some work done."
rating: 50.0%
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category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 12-3-2008
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
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category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 12-3-2008
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 4-3-2008
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 27-2-2008
Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the
end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day
followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next
morning.
(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit
(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed
(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level
(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
rating: 100.0%
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category: Profession jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: 'To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.' The lawyer continued, 'To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million.' The lawyer concluded, 'And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!'
rating: 0.0%
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category: Profession jokes
by: Edke 13-1-2008
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill:
"One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian".
The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians from:
The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There's two of them."
rating: 87.5%
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