Funny jokes about police and cops.
A cop pulls a guy over:
- Sir, why were you speeeding?
- Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and go to heaven.
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force."
The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty."
The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"
A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"
One sunny day on the North Sea a creative little boy was playing in the sand trying to decide what to make. He discovered some Scheiss (you can guess what that is) on the beach so he decided to make a VoPo (People's Policeman). Just as he was finishing, along comes a VoPo, trying to make sure no one swims to Denmark. He decides to ask the little boy what that ugly thing made of Scheiss is. The little boy responds: "It's a VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The next day, the boy is on the beach making the same creation when that same
officer comes along and sees the boy is playing with the Scheiss again, and asks what he is doing. The boy responds "I'm making another VoPo!" So the officer beats him.
The day after that, the officer is strolling the beach, sees the boy playing just with sand, and is glad to see he has switched his medium. So he asks boldly "what are you making today?" The boy responds: "A G.I.!" The officer asks: "And why not a VoPo?" The boy responds: "Couldn't find any Scheiss."