100 last added jokes in our collection ordered from newest jokes to older ones. Please rate new jokes by clicking on smiles, so new jokes will be also rated!
A husband tells his wife, "Since it is your birthday, remember that yellow Lamborghini that you really wanted?". The wife screams in joy and starts crying tears of joy. Then the husband says, "Well I got you a toothbrush, same color".
rating: 3.3 of 10 votes
Chuck Norris was once at the airport. The security told him to take off his shoes.
So Chuck said, "No".
And that was that!
rating: 2.44 of 9 votes
Teacher: Has anyone heard of the word expensive?
Lily: Just right now!
rating: 3.25 of 16 votes
Teacher:¨Are you sleeping in my class¨?
Student:¨Well now I´m not but if you could be a little quieter I could¨
rating: 3.67 of 6 votes
In a maternity hospital the wife delivered a son.
The husband asked his wife: "I am white, you are white, why is it that the child is black?"
The wife replied: "I am hot and you are hot. The child must have been burnt"
rating: 3.46 of 907 votes
God created earth and heaven, the rest was made in China.
rating: 3.51 of 836 votes
A mother make her son intelligent in 20 years, but a woman can make him stupid in 30 seconds.
rating: 3.51 of 738 votes
There was a man named George driving in his car in the middle of the night, on a highway. He drives until he sees a stop sign, and slows down, but keeps going. A police officer sees this and pulls George over.
George: Is there a problem officer?
Police: Yeah. You just drove past a stop sign.
George: I slowed down, now if I will be on my way-
The police officer pulls him out of his car and begins beating George with his nightstick.
Police: Would you like me to slow down, or stop?!
rating: 3.48 of 725 votes
A priest, a politician and an engineer were scheduled to be executed late in the French revolution. I has to be "public", and people are tired of all the bloodshed, so a crowd of spectators is forcibly rounded up.
The priest is brought up to the guiotine and lays down on the table. The executioner pulls the cord and the heavy steel blade descends ... then shudders to a stop in the middle of the track. The executioner is a very smart guy (which is why he is pulling the cord, rather than laying on the table) so he proclaims, "This is a sign from God, that the life of this priest should be spared!" The priest is set free to the delight of the cheering crowd.
Next the politician is brought up and laid on the table. The cord is pulled, and the blade again shudders to a halt in the same place. The executioner proclaims "The grace of God is extended even to this politician!" and the crowd goes wild with joy!
The engineer steps up last and says "You know, if you tighten that bolt, this thing will work."
rating: 3.51 of 634 votes
A Texas farmer was touring England. He happened to meet an English farmer and asked him, "What size farm do you have?"
The Englishman proudly announced, "Thirty-five acres!"
"Thirty-five acres?" the Texan scoffed. "Why, I can get in my truck at 8:00 AM and start driving and at noon, I am still on my farm. I can eat lunch and start driving again and at 5:00 PM I am still on my farm.
"Ah, yes," the Englishman nodded in understanding. "I had a truck like that once."
rating: 3.49 of 626 votes