100 last added jokes in our collection ordered from newest jokes to older ones. Please rate new jokes by clicking on smiles, so new jokes will be also rated!
Daddy, what are those two spiders doing," she asked? "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top," she asked? "A Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs," the little girl asked?
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat. "Well," she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that crap here in Texas."
At big event this guy is carrying two plates of food from the buffet- one for his girl-friend and one for himself. As they enter the large hall to sit at a long table, everyone looks up and starts moving their chairs to make room for the couple to sit. At the same time the girl says, "Honey, give me the keys to the car, I need to get something."
He looks at the plates in his hands and says, "Well, I can't give them to you right now...but you can reach in my pocket and get them."
Everyone is looking as she reaches into his pants. She smiles bashfully as she looks around and said, "I feel a little funny."
He replies, "Feel a little deeper and you will feel NUTS!"
Two blondes walking through the woods and suddenly came a cross a lion. One of the blond slowly squatted down, scooped hand full of mud and threw it to the lions eyes. The next second she started to run like hell, while the other one is still standing like nothing happened. So the running blonde yelled back
"hey run, run."
"No.." the other one yelled back, "Why should I? Its you who threw the mud on him."
Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the store she makes the onions cry.
Yo mama so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion!rating: 3.48 of 29 votessend joke:rate joke:
Your mamas so fat that she has to use a paint roller to put her lipstick on.
There were two retired men. One of the men said "I feel like a newborn baby,". The other man asked why. The man said, " I have no hair, no teeth, and I just peed in my pants.rating: 3.93 of 29 votessend joke:rate joke:
A man asked a waiter. "What is this fly doing in my soup?"
The waiter replied. "It looks like its swimming sir."
A drunk man walks out of the bar and sees a nun standing at the bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she is on the ground crying he says," Not so tough are you now Batman!"rating: 2.94 of 123 votessend joke:rate joke:
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"