Men jokes

Funny jokes for men. Enjoy good men humor..

Once a devil walked in a bar,
Every one ran away only one man had the guts to stay.
The devil asked to the man aren't you scared.
The man replied, "Why should I be, I married your sister 30 years ago".

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Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.

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A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

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You know why women cant drive?
Because there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”

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I ONCE READ THAT A WOMAN WAS IN A COLLISION WITH A TREE, WHATS A TREE DOING IN THE KITCHEN???

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Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because, they are ugly and they stink...

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Paddy's been arrested again for punching his wife!. The judge asks, "Why do you keep beating her?" Paddy say's, "I think it's my weight advantage, longer arm reach and superior footwork!"

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Two friends Peter and Jack is leaving for holiday in a same airplane. Peter was sad when he couldn't meet Jack before they get in to the plane. After some time he sees Jack coming up th stairs and Peter shouted, "HI-JACK"

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The man say to the woman: Why are you not speaking to me?
Women: Because I am speaking to my dog.
Man: The dog can't speak.
Women: My dog can speak.
Man: How?
Women: Dog speak to me!
Dog: woof woof.
Man:Tthe dog is barking not speaking.
Women: This dog is not barking, my dog is speaking.
Man: You have to go to the doctor to check your ear.
Women: Where?
Man: TO THE DOCTOR!
Women: To the moctor?

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