category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 11-6-2008
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 11-6-2008
A husband and wife are eating soup. the wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 27-5-2008
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can\'t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 12-3-2008
Deer Hunter
A sportsman, and father of 3 sons, was anxious to share his latest kill
with his family for Sunday dinner. He didn't want his sons to refuse
tasting the delicious venison, so he sat the boys down to dinner without
telling them what the meat was they were about to eat.
"Oh come on Dad," said the oldest son. "What is this meat?"
"Just taste it," said the father, "You will love it."
The boys eyed each other nervously and put a piece of the meat on their
forks.
"Give us a little hint.", pleaded the second son.
"Only if you take a bite.", said the father. As each boy took a cautious bite of the venison, the father continued, "Let me think, your mother calls me this from time to time."
>The oldest boy shouted, "Spit it out boys, it's asshole!"
rating: 100.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 10-3-2008
A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing
from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard
sobbing from the basement.
After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her
husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so
much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father
threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."
rating: 0.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 10-3-2008
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
rating: 0.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 10-3-2008
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
rating: 0.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 4-3-2008
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
rating: 75.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 4-3-2008
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
rating: 0.0%
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category: Family jokes
by: Kubo 28-2-2008
A woman gives birth to a baby..... Afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor?
What's wrong???"
The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
The woman says, "A hermaphrodite... what's that???"
The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the...er...features... of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my God! You mean it has a penis...
AND a brain!!!"
rating: 87.5%
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