Family jokes

Funny jokes about family, wedding jokes, marriage jokes. ....

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Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.

rating: 3.48 of 103 votessend joke:

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Cool Morals:

1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.
2. One should love animals. They are tasty too.
3. Save water. Drink beer.
4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick.
5. Books are holy. So don't touch them.
6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught.
7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

rating: 3.68 of 250 votessend joke:

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The worst place to have a heart attack is during a gama of cherades. ...Especially if the people you are playing with, are really bad guessers.

rating: 2.99 of 117 votessend joke:

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One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"

rating: 3.36 of 171 votessend joke:

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Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

rating: 3.9 of 422 votessend joke:

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."

rating: 3.23 of 231 votessend joke:

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"Yes brother," says Paddy.
"Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick.
"It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy.
A month later Paddy calls Mick.
"Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy.
"That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick.
"I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy.
"And what did you call the boy?"
"I called the boy De nephew."

rating: 3.23 of 190 votessend joke:

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A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother.
He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother."
One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly.
The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother.
He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."

rating: 3.88 of 313 votessend joke:

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Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."
The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret."
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!" The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!" The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

rating: 3.94 of 342 votessend joke:

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It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives.

rating: 2.77 of 199 votessend joke:

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