Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often s*xual content or vocabulary.
Jokes deals with topics that are considered to be in poor taste or overly vulgar by the prevailing morals in a culture.

This young boy named Don walked into a whorehouse, slammed his money on the counter and said, "I want a woman!"
The man behind the counter asked, "How old are you?
"Don, replied, "I'm 17!
"The man said, "Your too young, come back when your older, mean while practice on trees.
"A year later Don once again came back to the whorehouse, swung the front door open, then shut, stomped over to the front desk and slammed his money on the counter harder then before.
He screamed, "GIVE ME A WOMAN!"
The man behind the counter said, "How old are you?"
Don, shouted, "I AM 18!"
The man took Don's money and said, "OK, up stairs, second door on the left."
Don didn't miss a beat. He ran up those stairs so fast he skipped every other step. It wasn't about 5 minutes later when the man behind the counter heard the whore up stairs screaming in complete and utter agony. So he jumped over the counter and ran up the stairs.
Once at the room he kicked in the door and to his surprise Don had a broomstick shoved right up the whore's p*ssy.
The man shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Don simply replied, "Checking for squirrels..."

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What do you call a pr*stitue with a runny nose?

Full.

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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."

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If a woman is uncomfortable watching you m*sturbate, do you think?

A. you need more time together
B. she's a prude
C. she should have sat elsewhere on the bus

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Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard . does any one know what that is?
"Yes," says Tommy.
"My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."

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A wise man once said, "You should treat your woman the way you treat your hoover!!, when it stops sucking.... change the bag."

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After working together for a while, Frank and Jane's office romance blossomed and they really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust.
Frank finds Jane very tight and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds.
When they are finished, Frank says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!"
To which Jane replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"

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Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!!

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Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says, "I've got a huge crack."
The other replies, "Stop teasing me, I'm not f*cking hard yet."

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Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style

- the husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

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