Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often s*xual content or vocabulary.
Jokes deals with topics that are considered to be in poor taste or overly vulgar by the prevailing morals in a culture.

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What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?
In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

rating: 3.69 of 267 votessend joke:

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What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!

rating: 2.98 of 92 votessend joke:

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The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.

I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

rating: 3.43 of 417 votessend joke:

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Man comes home to his wife and says to her: "With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh.t."
"But I don't have a new pair of glasses..." she replies.
"But, I do."

rating: 2.87 of 98 votessend joke:

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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.

rating: 2.93 of 293 votessend joke:

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A man is on a plane
The pilot starts talking on the intercom and then lays it down without knowing its still on.
The pilot says to the co-pilot, "I could use two things right now, a cup of coffee and a blowjob."
stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom.
The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."

rating: 3.13 of 354 votessend joke:

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A famous American golfer is invited to go to China for a golfing tournament.
From the second he gets there, he is treated like a king. He is given five-star treatment in a five-star hotel until the day of the tournament.
The night before the tournament, he is sitting in his hotel room watching TV.
A hot Asian girl walks up to his room and he says, "Wow. They must really love me here." He begins to have sex with her the whole night.
She continues to scream, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!," but he ignores it.
At the tournament, the American golfer gets a hole-in-one and gets really excited.
He starts yelling, "Chung Hoi! Chung Hoi!"
One of the Chinese golfers says, "What do you mean 'WRONG HOLE'?"

rating: 3.22 of 443 votessend joke:

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Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother."
Santa - "Send me your mother."

rating: 3.69 of 1423 votessend joke:

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Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year."
The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."

rating: 3.4 of 128 votessend joke:

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Undertaker to bereaved husband.
When did you 1st notice your wife was dead?
Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."

rating: 3.36 of 123 votessend joke:

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