Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often s*xual content or vocabulary.
Jokes deals with topics that are considered to be in poor taste or overly vulgar by the prevailing morals in a culture.

sorted by: | date | rating |

There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms.
The mom walked by all the rooms.
The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet.
The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."

rating: 3.62 of 92 votessend joke:

rate:

5 years old boy and mom showering.

boy asks: What happened between your legs?
mom: Ummm, fell on a axe.
boy: Wow! by your p*ssy?

rating: 2.5 of 70 votessend joke:

rate:

Before having s*x, Tony thought about being a little romantic.
He told his wife, "I'll kiss your lips...then move up to your bellybutton."

rating: 2.33 of 107 votessend joke:

rate:

There was a passenger plane in flight when suddenly one of the engines blew.
There was no cargo and the plane had too much weight to stay in flight, so the flight attendant came on the intercom and said.
"We are going to have to ask people to start departing the plane one by one so we can save as many as possible, I will start in alphabetical order to see who departs the plane according by race. *A* will all the African Americans please depart the plane".
Nobody moves...."B will all black people please depart the plane."
Nobody moves..."C!!! will all the colored folks please depart the plane."
Nobody moves.. A little black boy turns to his black father and says "daddy daddy, they called us three times, why haven't we jumped off the plane?"
The father replies, "Well son today we are Ni**ers and the Mexicans are jumping first."

rating: 3.31 of 121 votessend joke:

rate:

A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun.
He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!"
The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!"
The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!"
HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!"
The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!"
"Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!"
The man starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun.
Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"

rating: 3.68 of 94 votessend joke:

rate:

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x.
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

rating: 3.71 of 127 votessend joke:

rate:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you already told her twice.

rating: 2.66 of 122 votessend joke:

rate:

John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn't look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. he looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes closed and isn't responding. Suddenly his eyes jump wide open and he starts to gurgle and during his last gasp for air he says:
"Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, Pezzo di merda ...."
John inscribes the words in his heart.
At the funeral John tells the black-clad widow that her husband had something to say.
'And, she asks with tearful eyes,"was it that he loved me? "
"I do not know," said the man, "but it sounded like Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, pezzo di merda ...."
The widow screams and faints.
"What?" John ask startled to the daughter, "what did he say, what does that mean?" And the crying daughter says:
"You are standing on my oxygen hose, you git."

rating: 3.88 of 228 votessend joke:

rate:

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

rating: 3.9 of 628 votessend joke:

rate:

Hitler conquering another village while ww2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families.
He made all men to stand naked one next to another in stright line and every woman have to find her husband by doing them bl*wjob. First woman starts to suck and saying:
- not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, Mine!
It's turn out that she was right so they could walk away free. Second woman starts to suck:
- not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, MINE!!
True again so Hitler was deeply surprised and decided to stand in line between men of village. Third woman starts to doing her job and saying:
-not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine......

rating: 3.78 of 474 votessend joke:

rate:

Contact us | Copyright ©2008 Jokes-best.com - Funny short jokes