Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often s*xual content or vocabulary.
Jokes deals with topics that are considered to be in poor taste or overly vulgar by the prevailing morals in a culture.

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category: D*rty jokes1.

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing," she asked? "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top," she asked? "A Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs," the little girl asked?
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat. "Well," she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that crap here in Texas."

rating: 3.59 of 806 votes

category: D*rty jokes2.

Why are there gates around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in.

rating: 3.5 of 708 votes

category: D*rty jokes3.

Whats the difference between being hungry and being h*rny?
Where you put the cucumber.

rating: 3.54 of 711 votes

category: D*rty jokes4.

A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."

rating: 3.55 of 680 votes

category: D*rty jokes5.

Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!

rating: 3.58 of 662 votes

category: D*rty jokes6.

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".

rating: 3.53 of 655 votes

category: D*rty jokes7.

Following the crash of a single seater plane into a graveyard just outside Dublin a spokesman for the Irish police said that they were unable to give a final d*ath toll but so far they had recovered 116 bodies.

rating: 3.48 of 621 votes

category: D*rty jokes8.

A shepherd goes to a television programme.
A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, "What was the best day of your life?"
The shepherd answers, "Well...the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it."
A second man of the viewers asks him, "And the second best day of your life?"
And the shepherd, "Well...the second one was when in lost a sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, I took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it."
So, after that, a third man of the viewers stand up and asks, "And the worse day of your life?."
"The worse day of my life was when I got lost in Cuccureddu's mountain..."

rating: 3.51 of 631 votes

category: D*rty jokes9.

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."

rating: 3.56 of 661 votes

category: D*rty jokes10.

FOUR stages of girl & boy relation!
1. hand in hand.
2. that in hand.
3. hand in that.
4. that in that.

rating: 3.52 of 669 votes

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