Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often s*xual content or vocabulary.
Jokes deals with topics that are considered to be in poor taste or overly vulgar by the prevailing morals in a culture.

Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!

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This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".

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Following the crash of a single seater plane into a graveyard just outside Dublin a spokesman for the Irish police said that they were unable to give a final d*ath toll but so far they had recovered 116 bodies.

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A shepherd goes to a television programme.
A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, "What was the best day of your life?"
The shepherd answers, "Well...the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it."
A second man of the viewers asks him, "And the second best day of your life?"
And the shepherd, "Well...the second one was when in lost a sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, I took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it."
So, after that, a third man of the viewers stand up and asks, "And the worse day of your life?."
"The worse day of my life was when I got lost in Cuccureddu's mountain..."

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A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."

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FOUR stages of girl & boy relation!
1. hand in hand.
2. that in hand.
3. hand in that.
4. that in that.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"?
"FIRETRUCK"!!! What were you thinking?

What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?
..."POPCORN"!!
What were you thinking?!?!?!

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What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!

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A total naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?" The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."

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3 guys walk into a bar
The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world"
The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world"
The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records
The first guy comes back and says "I really do have? the smallest? arm in the world"
The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?

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