Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris jokes are jokes about martial artist and actor Chuck Norris that have become an Internet phenomenon and as a result have become widespread in popular culture.
The jokes typically claim that Chuck Norris is some type of irate, all-powerful superbeing.

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat, he doesnt get wet.
The water gets Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up he does not push up, he pushes the world down.

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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.

The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."

"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."

So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.

"That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."

"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."

So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.

"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

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Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.

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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".

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