Blonde jokes

Blonde jokes are a class of jokes based on a stereotype of dumb blonde women.
Blonde jokes nearly always take the format of the blonde placing herself in a situation or making a comment that serves to highlight her lack of intelligence.

The two blonds have met and one of them says, "Yesterday, during the blackout I got stuck in a lift for three hours!"
"It's nothing. I was standing on an escalator for three hours!", says other blonde.

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I came over to my blonde friend the other day and said, "Hey look a dead bird."
She looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

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Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 100, 1 to hold the lightbulb & 99 to turn the house.

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What was the blonde thinking while she was in jail?

Why I am here? All I did, was borrow that dimond ring, when the store was close!!

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What happened to the blonde at the soccer stadium?
She drowned in the mexican wave.

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College teacher: What's the capital of Texas?
Blonde: T

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During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy
When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

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A blond was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver Thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk To ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blond, "That's amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day..
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things Cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... ..."Two Popsicles and some coffee."

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A blond was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blond went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blond roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.."

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Two Blonds With Hammers...
Lynn and Julie were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Julie, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Lynn explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them are defective and have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Julie got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

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