Blonde jokes are a class of jokes based on a stereotype of dumb blonde women. Blonde jokes nearly always take the format of the blonde placing herself in a situation or making a comment that serves to highlight her lack of intelligence.
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 11-6-2008
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the
5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
rating: %
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 11-6-2008
A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!!
rating: 100.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 28-5-2008
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
Hey, asked the brunette at the wheel, see any cops following us?
The blonde turned around for a long look. As a matter of fact, I do.
Oh, NOOOO! yelled the brunette. Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
rating: %
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 7-5-2008
Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
So she could draw blood.
rating: 50.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 3-3-2008
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''
The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''
At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''
rating: 0.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 28-2-2008
A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
officer. She says She is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a
new Rolls Royce parked in the street in front of the bank Everything
checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage
and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeksfor 15 bucks?"
rating: 100.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 28-2-2008
> The chemist looks at the blonde and says, "Can I help you miss?"
> "I would like to buy some bottom deodorant please," says the blonde.
> "I'm sorry," says the chemist, "we don't have any."
> "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the
> container it comes in?"
> "Yes!" Said the blonde, "I will go and get it." She returns with the
> container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to the
> her "This is just a normal stick of under arm deodorant".
> The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
> the container,
>
> "To apply, push up bottom."
rating: 0.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to K-Mart now?"
rating: 0.0%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Viki 13-1-2008
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair
of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.
With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,
"DAMN IT this one is barefoot too!!
rating: 66.7%
rate:
category: Blonde jokes
by: Krtko 1-1-2006
There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says "Well then I'll go at night."
rating: 75.0%
rate:
Best jokes
New jokes
Random jokes
Add joke
Categories: