category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 14-6-2008
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
rating: 50.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 18-4-2008
What do american beer and making love in a canoe have in common?
.
.
.
It's fu*king close to water!
rating: 0.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 9-3-2008
During an international gynaecology conference, an English doctor, Dr.
UK,
Steve, and a French doctor, Dr. Myrddin, were discussing unusual cases
they had treated recently.
"Only last week," Dr. Myrddin said, "a woman came to see me with a
clitoris like a melon!" "Don't be absurd, "Dr. UK Steve exclaimed, "It
couldn't have been that big.
My God, man, she wouldn't be able to walk if it were."
"Aah, you English, always thinking about size," replied Dr. Myrddin. "I
was talking about the flavour!"
rating: 25.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 9-3-2008
Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright,
white couple. Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to
have a black baby, and set to work. Nine months later, the fruits of
their labour was born: a lovely white girl. Pleased but disappointed,
John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black
baby. Realising that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him
aside and asked, "Is your d*ck at least a foot long?" John had to admit
that it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?" Once more John
replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy
slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light!"
rating: 50.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 9-3-2008
An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization.
The Greek: We built the Acropolis!
the Italian: We built the colloseum!
The Greek: We gave the world advanced math!
the Italian: We made the Roman Empire!
The Greek: We discovered sex!!
the Italian: And we introduced it to women!!
rating: 100.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 4-3-2008
Men is at the airport.
- Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean, male or female?
- Male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn ยด t that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer run too fast! :-))
rating: 62.5%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
rating: 33.3%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
rating: 50.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up"
rating: 100.0%
rate:
category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 26-2-2008
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink. "The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone 100 dollars who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
rating: 75.0%
rate:
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