Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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What is a bunny's favorite music?
rating: 3.58 of 758 votes
Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.
rating: 3.57 of 669 votes
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind?
A: A maybe.
rating: 3.57 of 657 votes
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
rating: 3.57 of 624 votes
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
rating: 3.56 of 633 votes
Jesus and the devil were arguing over which one of them was the better computer programmer.
"I am!" Jesus shouted.
"No, I am!" the devil countered.
"EEEEEEENOUGH!" God bellowed, and the whole universe disappeared into darkness. When the lights came back on, two computers were sitting in front of them.
God said "Now, whoever makes the best computer program in twenty minutes wins."
Jesus and the devil both sat down, typing and clicking furiously. This went on for about 15 minutes, but then there was a power failure, and everything went dark. When everything came back up again, the computer screens were both blank.
The devil tried in vain to get back everything he had lost. He came up empty-handed.
Jesus pressed one key and it all came back.
The devil looked at him in astonishment. "No way! How did you do that?!"
Jesus turned to him and smiled, and said "Everybody knows Jesus saves."
rating: 3.56 of 626 votes
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!!!
rating: 3.56 of 686 votes
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
rating: 3.56 of 615 votes
Yore mama so fat she turned a monster truck into a low rider
rating: 3.56 of 651 votes
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
rating: 3.56 of 602 votes