Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
Attention! If you rate joke, joke rating and position will change..
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'send funny joke:
rating: 3.57 of 505 votes
Ms.Battle: Henry, I hope I didn't see you copying Casey's math test.
Henry: I hope you didn't either.
rating: 3.57 of 528 votes
A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."send funny joke:
rating: 3.55 of 560 votes
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No." This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
rating: 3.55 of 493 votes
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.
rating: 3.55 of 525 votes
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
rating: 3.54 of 479 votes
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
rating: 3.53 of 586 votes
A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
rating: 3.53 of 486 votes
Teacher: What makes you see?
Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears.
Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose?
Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!!!
rating: 3.53 of 494 votes
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
rating: 3.53 of 495 votes