Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the store she makes the onions cry.
rating: 3.49 of 522 votes
Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.
rating: 3.49 of 477 votes
Your mama so dumb she stared at an orange juice carton because it said concentrate.send funny joke:
rating: 3.49 of 457 votes
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
rating: 3.49 of 458 votes
Yo mama so stupid she stole a free sample.send funny joke:
rating: 3.49 of 437 votes
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
rating: 3.48 of 510 votes
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
rating: 3.48 of 459 votes
A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."
rating: 3.48 of 430 votes
Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.
rating: 3.48 of 427 votes
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied,
down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
rating: 3.48 of 482 votes