Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ...."
rating: 3.6 of 630 votes
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
rating: 3.59 of 787 votes
Yo mama so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion!
rating: 3.59 of 700 votes
What is a bunny's favorite music?
rating: 3.59 of 798 votes
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
rating: 3.59 of 654 votes
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
rating: 3.58 of 626 votes
Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.
rating: 3.58 of 702 votes
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees."
rating: 3.57 of 636 votes
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
rating: 3.57 of 620 votes
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!!!
rating: 3.57 of 736 votes