Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly.
rating: 3.62 of 776 votes
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
rating: 3.62 of 1193 votes
Yo mama so ugly when she goes to the store she makes the onions cry.
rating: 3.62 of 893 votes
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
rating: 3.61 of 874 votes
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
rating: 3.61 of 692 votes
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
rating: 3.61 of 657 votes
Caller: Dials in 911 Hello officer, I broke my arm in 3 places!
Officer: Then stop going to those places.
rating: 3.6 of 735 votes
What is a bunny's favorite music?
rating: 3.6 of 865 votes
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
rating: 3.6 of 662 votes
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!!!
rating: 3.6 of 824 votes