Best jokes

Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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funny mosquito
jokes: 11 - 20 of 100
category: Yo mama jokes11.

Yo mama so flat, the wall is jealous of her.

rating: 3.54 of 590 votes

category: School jokes12.

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

rating: 3.54 of 590 votes

category: School jokes13.

Teacher: What exactly is MATH?
Boy: Mental Abuse To Humans

rating: 3.54 of 590 votes

category: D*rty jokes14.

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

rating: 3.54 of 592 votes

category: School jokes15.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

rating: 3.54 of 598 votes

category: Kids jokes16.

Q: How do you put a elephant in the fridge?
A: Open the door, put the elephant in and close the door.
Q: How do you put a giraffe if the fridge?
A: Open the door take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and clase the door.

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: D*rty jokes17.

Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny.
Doc says, "Im gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow."
Doctor starts and woman begins to moan. Doctor gets faster and harder.
Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?"
Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."

rating: 3.54 of 593 votes

category: Animal jokes18.

Two neighbors are talking to each other.
First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me?
Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well.
First neighbor: Really, well then, how?
Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.

rating: 3.53 of 590 votes

category: Lawyer jokes19.

How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
Just say, "Fees."

rating: 3.53 of 590 votes

category: Blonde jokes20.

Two blondes walking through the woods and suddenly came a cross a lion. One of the blond slowly squatted down, scooped hand full of mud and threw it to the lions eyes. The next second she started to run like hell, while the other one is still standing like nothing happened. So the running blonde yelled back
"hey run, run."
"No.." the other one yelled back, "Why should I? Its you who threw the mud on him."

rating: 3.53 of 590 votes

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