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Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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funny mosquito
jokes: 11 - 20 of 100
category: School jokes11.

Teacher:¨Are you sleeping in my class¨?
Student:¨Well now I´m not but if you could be a little quieter I could¨

rating: 3.78 of 271 votes

category: Kids jokes12.

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"

rating: 3.75 of 896 votes

category: Kids jokes13.

Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!

rating: 3.75 of 1349 votes

category: School jokes14.

Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel so well.
Father: Where does it hurt?
Son: In school.

rating: 3.73 of 1518 votes

category: School jokes15.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

rating: 3.72 of 835 votes

category: Family jokes16.

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

rating: 3.71 of 789 votes

category: D*rty jokes17.

3 guys walk into a bar
The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world"
The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world"
The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records
The first guy comes back and says "I really do have? the smallest? arm in the world"
The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?

rating: 3.71 of 846 votes

category: Men jokes18.

A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in ...."

rating: 3.7 of 758 votes

category: Family jokes19.

A husband tells his wife, "Since it is your birthday, remember that yellow Lamborghini that you really wanted?". The wife screams in joy and starts crying tears of joy. Then the husband says, "Well I got you a toothbrush, same color".

rating: 3.7 of 370 votes

category: School jokes20.

Teacher: Has anyone heard of the word expensive?
Lily: Yes!
Teacher: When?
Lily: Just right now!

rating: 3.67 of 229 votes

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