Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
rating: 3.79 of 638 votes
I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you".
She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking"
I said, "It's me........I'm talking to the beer"!
rating: 3.79 of 667 votes
Your mama so ugly, when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.send funny joke:
rating: 3.78 of 1112 votes
What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
rating: 3.77 of 660 votes
Yo mama so stupid, I said, "Why do you have 2 quarters in your ears?" and she said, "I am listening to 50 cent."send funny joke:
rating: 3.77 of 2014 votes
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
rating: 3.77 of 752 votes
Teacher:(I killed a person.)tell me this sentence in future tense.
Student: In future tense, (You will go to jail.)
rating: 3.77 of 715 votes
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator.
She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
rating: 3.77 of 2073 votes
Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
rating: 3.77 of 863 votes
Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.send funny joke:
rating: 3.77 of 953 votes