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Best 100 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!
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funny mosquito
jokes: 91 - 100 of 100
category: Men jokes91.

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"

rating: 3.54 of 602 votes

category: Yo mama jokes92.

Yo mama so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion!

rating: 3.54 of 643 votes

category: Chuck Norris jokes93.

It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: School jokes94.

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, f...ing beautiful!'"

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: D*rty jokes95.

A man walks into the bar and sees a sign:

H*ndjob: $5
Cheese sandwich: $2

He walks over to the bartender, a big boobied blonde, and asks.
"Are you the one giving out handjobs?"
"Yes I am!" she replied, smiling and sticking out her chest.
"Okay," he said.
"Now wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich!"

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: D*rty jokes96.

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values.
At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.
Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, ".....but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?"
He said, "...Scr*w him .........give him a dollar."
The blonde then blushed and said, "....But the breakfast was my idea."

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: School jokes97.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

rating: 3.54 of 591 votes

category: D*rty jokes98.

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

rating: 3.54 of 593 votes

category: Chuck Norris jokes99.

Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.

rating: 3.54 of 593 votes

category: Yo mama jokes100.

Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a wireless phone.

rating: 3.54 of 595 votes

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