Here you can find all jokes in our database ordered by rating from best jokes to worst jokes. Please rate jokes by clicking on smiles, so best jokes will be really best jokes!
category: Blonde jokes
by: Viki 13.1.2008 22:52
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair
of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.
With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,
"DAMN IT this one is barefoot too!!
rating: 100.0%
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category: Blonde jokes
by: Kubo 28.2.2008 11:19
A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan
officer. She says She is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a
new Rolls Royce parked in the street in front of the bank Everything
checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage
and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest,which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and
this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two
weeksfor 15 bucks?"
rating: 100.0%
rate:
category: Chuck Norris jokes
by: Kubo 11.3.2008 08:17
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
rating: 87.5%
rate:
category: School jokes
by: kubo 15.4.2008 14:52
Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!
rating: 87.5%
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category: Lawyer jokes
by: Kubo 24.3.2008 17:13
A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
rating: 75.0%
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category: Lawyer jokes
by: Kubo 24.3.2008 17:15
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
rating: 75.0%
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category: School jokes
by: kubo 26.2.2008 15:06
Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self-conscious about my advancing years. One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class. "Even the teacher is younger than I am," I said. "Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over!"
rating: 66.7%
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category: Adult jokes
by: Kubo 2.2.2007 02:00
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sergeant replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters. The captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied,
down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."
rating: 62.5%
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category: Lawyer jokes
by: Kubo 24.3.2008 17:15
What's the best way to get a hold of a lawyer?
By the neck...
rating: 50.0%
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category: Lawyer jokes
by: Kubo 24.3.2008 17:16
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
rating: 50.0%
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